Discover the negative effects of betrayal and find out how to overcome them with these 5 practical tips.
We have all been betrayed at least once in our lives. Betrayal is a very serious trauma that can affect our brains negatively. How? Oxytocin is a chemical that stimulates feelings of trust and love. Betrayal breaks that trust, resulting in a low production of this chemical. Just how serious is this? Some of the things one can go through after being betrayed include: acting out, social isolation, insomnia, rage, disappointment, a loss of self-esteem and issues dealing with trust and emotion. You may begin to withdraw from friends because of how badly you feel about the betrayal. You could even grieve the loss of friendship and the person who you thought they were may be dead to you. Or you could slip into a deep depression for a while if the betrayal hasn’t been dealt with accordingly.
We are usually betrayed by someone really close to us. This could be our mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, best friend or workmate. It hurts. There is no denying it. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne details a study that shows how betrayal and lack of trust, due to a low level of oxytocin, can influence one who has been betrayed in an effort ease the pain or seek retribution. Betrayal can be really harmful to you. It can negatively affect all spheres of your life in ways you can’t possibly imagine.
Just like a wound that takes time to heal, a person who has been betrayed needs time to heal. The initial feelings of hurt, pain and despair will feel like they will never end. However, over time, as you work through the pain, it will become less. And one day, you will be able to put it behind you. You may never be able to forget it, but it will not hold you captive for the rest of your life.
To that end, we here at Psych2Go give you 5 effective and realistic tips that will help you deal with betrayal.
1. Be Angry
There are many emotions one goes through when they find out that they have been betrayed. These range from anger to depression, hurt, and wanting to avenge oneself. Probably one of the most prominent emotions you will feel will be anger. Anger because they did something like this to you. You’re angry because you trusted them. Anger because it was uncalled for. You’re angry because you have another problem to deal with in life. Anger because your emotional state is anything but OK. You’re so angry because you loved this person and didn’t think they would do you wrong. Be angry. It’s human. It’s necessary and it will run its course.
2. Cry
Crying is definitely number one on my list of things to do when you’ve been betrayed. Crying is one of the best ways to let out the emotions and frustrations building up inside you. For example, you cry when you’re happy, sad or angry. You can cry when you’re watching a cartoon like Frozen or a deep movie like The Help. When you hurt yourself, scrape your knee or bang your finger, you cry. You cry on your wedding day, when your child is born, or when your sister graduates Summa Cum Laude. If you’re involved in an accident, or your boyfriend breaks up with you, or even when someone breaks your trust, what do you do? Cry. It’s good for the healing process.
3. Get help
Do not underestimate the power of a good support system. A good support system can be made up of as little as one person or as many as 10 people. Whatever the case, when you need the help, you can get it. You just need to put your pride aside and willingly seek it out. Also, this means letting someone know that you need help. Usually, when you’re going through this, you’re going to be a rock, showing little to no emotion. No one will know how to help you unless you tell them.
4. Remove yourself from that toxic space/person
In some cases, you physically have to remove yourself from this person. If it turns out this person sold your secrets to Google for $75 million dollars, they do not need to be in your space. Other times, this is not possible. You need to detach yourself from them socially and emotionally. Of course, you may still greet them and even engage in small talk. But you won’t be buddy-buddy, going for spa treatments, or have movie nights. You will keep your space and they should respect that. They hurt you after all.
5. Don’t let it happen again
This is probably the hardest one because it could mean one of many things. It could mean cutting the person out of your life forever. Also, it could mean ignoring the fact that it happened. Maybe you should be paranoid and not allow yourself to get hurt by anyone else. We know, though, that no man is an island. Rather, it means not letting yourself get consumed by the feelings associated with betrayal. It means dealing with them better each time it happens. Sad to say, betrayal won’t end as long as we’re imperfect.
We hope these 5 tips help you through your betrayal. Do you think these tips are helpful? Leave a comment below! You can read the full article with 7 other great tips on Purpose Fairy.
Watch this video on how to tell if someone is lying:
Edited by Viveca Shearin
Originally posted on Psych2Go: https://psych2go.net/5-effective-realistic-tips-help-deal-betrayal/
